Less Booty Call, More Ella Fitzgerald
Artwork by Ted Nunes
If you’ve been listening to this podcast, you know that so many of our ideas about human sexuality are based on junk science, pun intended. On narrow, judgemental stereotypes that teach that proper masculinity basically means being an emotionless sex doll who’s mean to people they desire, and who should treat human relationships as transactions or conquests.
Certainly in the US, where the “manhood” (a loathsome word) and motivations of straight men, for instance, can be questioned when they approach sex with tenderness, openness, respect.
This week’s guest is award-winning NPR and PBS journalist and host Khalil Ekulona, who has interviewed thousands of people, so it was fun to turn the proverbial mic tables on him. I knew I had to invite him on when he told me once he thinks of sex as, well, the brilliant title of this episode.
When we began talking, I quickly realized Khalil has spent a lifetime dissecting and dismantling myths about sexuality and its intersections with intimacy, respect, race and capitalism. He shares these reflections, along with his experiences, honor system, what his three sisters taught him about women, and what Ella Fitgerald, Wayne Newton and Tony Bennett taught him about relationships.
We also discuss our shared contempt for the so-called sexual marketplace, created by self-proclaimed dating/relationship “gurus” who teach humans how to be less human with one another, perpetuating mistrust, confusion and harm. In other words, the kind of scripts WLS is working hard to flip!
Khalil was the inaugural host of This Is Nashville, the daily live show on Nashville’s NPR affiliate, where I have worked as a news anchor and reporter. We didn’t overlap, but I think we would’ve had a grand time working together. He’s also worked for NPR, PBS and NBC stations in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and he’s a hip hop musician, podcaster and world traveler.
Khalil and I literally earn our bread and butter talking to people, but I would urge everyone to seek out this kind of shame-free, judgment-free conversation, not just with partners but with friends and acquaintances too.
Because connection and communication – isn’t that 90% of sex, anyway?
A full transcript of our conversation is available here.
Women Like Sex is a Flipped Script production
Executive Producer / Editor: Natasha Senjanovic
Website Design and Artwork: Ted Nunes
Associate Producer: Edecio Martinez
Vik Vinayak assisted on mixing this episode
Music: Funky Fortune by Danny Shields