Myth: The female libido is significantly weaker than the male libido

Women Like Sex (WLS) is here to debunk that myth and examine its many — and profound — consequences. To name but a few: physiological ignorance, limited sex education, racial and LGBTQ stereotypes, ageism, purity/virginity movements, medical inequities, abortion laws and sexual assault.

For WLS, the words “girl” and “woman” comprises everyone who identifies as female, and while many of the issues we’ll examine are global, WLS is born of my experience living between the U.S. — the only Western nation among the top 10 most dangerous countries in the world for women - and Europe.

Back to the myth, which persists because we still teach children that “masculinity” equals hyper-sexuality and “femininity” means not admitting to liking sex, publicly and sometimes even to one’s self. And most “sex ed” still focuses heavily on narrow, outdated and highly gender-biased definitions sex.

Yet as women across the sexual spectrum grow up, many realize that they indeed like sex as much as men do, sometimes more. In a perfect world, we shrug off the (mis)information we’ve absorbed and enjoy ourselves without inhibition. After all, even heterosexual cis-women have exponentially more recreational than procreative sex, since without the help of science they can only be impregnated a couple of weeks per year (if they’re fertile).

In the real world, however, girls are often told to ignore, repress or fear their natural urges, yet still be desirable, but not too much. Being sexy is good, being sexual can bring on disgrace or violence. Life on this razor’s edge is exhausting, dangerous — and arbitrary. Female body parts that spark “uncontrollable” male impulses vary culturally (even though males seem to control themselves just fine on beaches where, in most parts of the world, everyone is virtually naked).

Meanwhile, even well-intentioned adults still teach their children that there are givers and takers in sex, predators vs. prey, rather than two equal partners. So confusion, ignorance and shame persist, as does the weaponization of sex and equating of it with crime – based on cultural biases rather than facts.

Thankfully, shifting social norms have led to greater public discourse, and to changes in science and medicine. With the understanding that defining women in reaction to men is inaccurate – and the opposite of agency.

So let’s flip the script.

We don’t have to see something to believe it.
We have to believe it to see it.

Any sociologist worth their salt will tell you that what we’re able to see, of the world around us, is based on the stories that shape the lives, societies and laws of the era and area we’re born into.

History, herstory, ourstory is a collection of stories we used to tell ourselves, the naiveté of which often appall or amuse us. Because humans are constantly replacing — disempowering — old information with the new. In one big, very (very) long game of telephone that inevitably makes us question, and change, our stories and ourselves.

In terms of female sexuality, its time for the minority to stop dictating the majority’s stories, which will require everyone across the gender spectrum to play along.

So listen in to this latest game of telephone, in which scientists, medical professionals, educators, standup comedians, friends, acquaintances, listeners and more, tell us just how much women like sex. And pass it on.

And consider sharing your story here.