Myth: The female libido is significantly weaker than the male libido

Women Like Sex (WLS) is here to debunk this modern myth and examine its many profound consequences. To name but a few: the orgasm gap, painful intercourse, physiological ignorance, slut-shaming, damaging racial and LGBTQ stereotypes, ageism, purity/virginity movements, medical inequities, abortion laws and sexual assault.

For WLS, the words girl(s) and woman/women comprise all those who identify as female, and while many of the issues are global, WLS is born of my experience living between the U.S. — the only Western nation among the planet’s top 10 most dangerous countries for women - and Europe.

Back to the myth, which persists because today we teach children that masculinity = hypersexuality, and femininity means not admitting to liking sex publicly, and sometimes even to one’s self. And most “sex ed” is still grounded in narrow, inaccurate and highly gender-biased definitions of sexuality itself.

Yet as women across the sexual spectrum grow up, many realize that they indeed like sex as much as men do, sometimes more. In a perfect world, this absorbed (mis)information is shrugged off and everyone enjoy sex without inhibition. After all, even heterosexual cis-women have exponentially more recreational than procreative intercourse, since without the help of science they can only be impregnated a couple of weeks per year (if they’re fertile).

In the real world, however, girls are often told to ignore, repress or fear their natural urges, yet still be desirable, but not too much. Being sexy is good, being sexual can bring disgrace or violence. Life on this razor’s edge is exhausting, dangerous — and arbitrary. Female body parts that spark “uncontrollable” male impulses vary culturally, even though males seem to control themselves just fine on beaches where, in most of the world, everyone is virtually naked.

Meanwhile, even well-intentioned adults still teach children that there are givers and takers in sex, predators vs. prey, rather than two equal partners. So confusion, ignorance, fear and shame persist, as does the weaponization of sex and equating it with crime – based on cultural biases rather than facts.

Thankfully, shifting social norms have led to greater public discourse, and to changes in science and medicine. With the understanding that defining women in reaction to men is inaccurate – and the opposite of agency.

So let’s flip the script.

We don’t have to see something to believe it.
We have to believe it to see it.

Any sociologist worth their salt will tell you that, as well as that what we’re able to see is based on the stories that shape the lives, laws and societies of the era and region we pop up in, in a vast and varied world.

History, herstory, ourstory is a collection of the stories we used to tell ourselves about ourselves, the naiveté of which often appall or amuse us. Because humans constantly disempower old beliefs and empower news ones.

WLS is here to help speed up that process when it comes to female sexuality. Through conversations with sex health experts, medical professionals, historians, advocates, standup comedians, friends, acquaintances, listeners and more – all of whom will tell us just how much and why women like sex.

Pass it on.

(And consider sharing your story here.)